A Healing Process - The Blenheim Sun

Here is a link to a full page article on page ten, written about me and the writing of my book. Published in The Blenheim Sun, March 2012:http://issuu.com/blenheimsun/docs/march_7lr

Inspiring Voices (3)

Lorenzo Garcaterra –

Sleepers, A Safe Place

Sleepers is a story about four boys growing up in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen, where a juvenile prank goes horribly wrong, and they are sent to reform school. It is here that they are subject to cruel sexual and physical abuse by some of the Warders.

What attracted me to Sleepers in particular was how his fictionalisation of his characters through name changes absolves him of any legal responsibility. For all intents and purposes it appears that the book, although believably a true story, suddenly becomes a work of fiction and can be argued as such. As a result I have altered some of the names in my work also, not only to protect others, but in order to protect myself also.

A Safe Place is the prequel to Sleepers and tells the story of his childhood, growing up with a violent father who he discovers murdered his first wife.

Behind every powerful story is usually an equally powerful back-story. On An Isle Called Rotoroa  is my backstory.  Lorenzo Garcaterra is an accomplished writer, one I would very much like to emulate, in terms of the power of his story-telling.

Carcaterra, L. (1995) Sleepers New York, Ballantine Books

Inspiring voices (2)

A Child Called ‘It’, The Lost Boy, A Man Named Dave Autobiographical trilogy by Dave Pelzer

This trilogy tells the story of a boy who was, at the time, considered one of the top ten of the worst child abuse cases in U.S.A.., the second book detailing his rescue from his abusive mother into foster care, and the third detailing his transition into adulthood.

This is a chilling story. The first time I read it I was blown away by the incredible events of cruelty and abuse that took place in this boy’s life. But as I took a critical overview of the book and the writing itself, it helped me to focus deeper on my own writing, and what I want it to say.

I am not using Pelzer’s trilogy as a model for mine. My research into his writing left me with a feeling more of ‘how not to write mine’. Pelzer tends to overemphasise and can be at times melodramatic (in a story that undoubtedly is incredibly dramatic without the emphasis), can be overly sentimental in the telling of the story at times.

I have discovered over the years, the power of understatement, and the ‘showing’ of the story without having to always ‘tell’ so much, or without commentating too heavily about it. This is how I want to write my books.


Pelzer, D.  (2009)  My Story (trilogy)  London, Orion Publishers

Inspiring voices (1)

My trilogy was inspired by the responses I received to my portfolio in a non-fiction studio four years ago, and is an extension of that work, although far more in depth. In my collection of non-fiction stories I covered issues such as addiction, my sexuality, and the impact mental illness had on me, and my best friend.

I gave a copy to my then-psychiatrist, who was so impressed that he ordered fifteen copies, followed by more orders, for him to distribute to his patients as well as his entire team of mental health workers. Very quickly I began to receive requests from other corners. This was when I realised that my private sales were being spurred on by something more than the sympathetic charity of friends or family, because almost all had been to strangers.

I had a story. A story of trauma, addiction and mental collapse.  A story of all the indicators that he brought me there.  A story, of stories which I had struggled with in my head for many many years. But ultimately a story of recovery.  Confessional memoir writing is an enlightening experience - suddenly I was seeing answers to the many questions in my life, being answered by me on the page.

I began reading more, looking for inspiration from other writers. One writer in particular that made an impact to my approach is Mary Karr, author of The Liar’s Club – A Memoir by Mary Karr

The blurb on the back cover reads:

‘…Mary Karr grew up in a swampy East Texas refinery town at the epicentre of a family full of fierce, volatile attachments. To sort through dark household secrets she looks back through a child’s eyes - and shows us ‘a terrific family of liars and drunks…redeemed by a slow unearthing of truths’ in language reinvented with raw authenticity and brilliant energy…’

This book does not demand sympathy, and slides episodes of sexual abuse into the mix as though it is not the dominant story, just a piece of the puzzle.  It is an honest and inspiring read.




... The Liars’ Club, Karr’s 1995 memoir of her Gothic childhood in a swampy East Texas oil-refining town, won the PEN/Martha Albrand Award for First Nonfiction, sold half a million copies, and made its forty-year-old author, who was then an obscure poet, a literary celebrity. (The book takes its title from the motley collection of men with whom her father, an oilman, used to drink and tell tales.) Karr has been credited with, and often blamed for, the onslaught of confessional memoirs published during the late nineties. Though many of them matched The Liars’ Club for grotesque subject matter—the young Karr is raped, molested, and made to witness her mother’s monstrous nervous breakdown—few were as unsentimental, as lyrical, or as mordantly funny....
http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5992/the-art-of-memoir-no-1-mary-karr


Karr, M. (1995) The Liars Club New York, Penguin Group

Funding hurdles

A disappointing blow to my project today.  The Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand has opened this year for applications for $16000.00 worth of media grants.  Unfortunately, unlike previous years, this year the grants are not available to creative writers like myself, but are set aside for journalist projects exclusively.

      Writing a book is bloody hard work.  I have spent the last four years of my life studying for my degree in creative writing (two years full-time, two years part-time), so I could learn the craft and deliver my story in the most effective way.  In that time I’ve funded myself by getting up at 3.30am five days a week to sort mail, and have taken on second jobs, which means I am taxed at the highest  rate and pay full repayment rates on my student loan, irrespective of the fact that my two jobs put together do not even come close to meeting the average income in this country.  But there is much more to writing a book than the physical funding of it. 

     There are endless hours of research, of gathering information, or interviewing others in order to make sure that you are accurate with dates, settings, etc.   There are sleepless nights, where it seems you can’t turn the words or ideas off, no matter how late it gets or how badly you need to sleep.  There are times when the subject matter and memories can reduce you to tears, and other times that leave you laughing or feeling warm with nostalgia.  There are the days we yearn to return to, and other days we had vowed never to revisit.  There are the difficult questions and the sometimes even more difficult answers. 

     But there are the rewards.  There are those moments when we see evidence of growth or learning staring back at us in words we have written.  There are the times when our words connect with a stranger and moves them, and has an impact in their own life.  There is the reward of knowing that the story has a happy ending and important messages to tell, to those that may still be stuck in the mires of depression, addiction, or abusive situations. 

    While there was never a guarantee that I would be awarded a grant, I had been preparing for this opportunity for several months, and more intensively in recent weeks, securing letters of recommendation etc and had identified areas where I could make use of the money if I had it.  First and foremost would have been the purchase of a laptop.  I have a (now very outdated) computer, on its last legs, which has never been connected to the internet.  Sometimes I wonder how I have managed to get this far through my degree, relying only on library computers.  Secondly I had hoped to make a series of research trips in coming months to interview people and visit locations that are more pertinent in the later books, but will have to come up with new ideas to generate the income to do this.

     To all the people who have helped and supported me with the writing of this trilogy so far, I give my commitment to seeing this project through regardless of any impediments that may come along.  I thank everyone for believing in me and this project, and rest assured – to the first one hundred people who have liked my page ‘The Sound of Broken Voices’ – you will not be the last one hundred people to like it.  I have an important story to tell, and I am going to tell it. 

Security and Confidentiality

I declare in the opening disclaimer that I have changed names to protect the anonymity of certain people (and I have, based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous) and to protect the families of others (who are either un-named or have had their name changed) the reader actually has no idea of whose name has been changed and whose hasn’t.

There is another reason I have done this that remains unspoken – to provide protection for myself, from attacks from certain characters who would deny that this is my truth.

It is also my hope that the partial fictionalisation of certain names and places, makes my truths, ‘untruths’, to a degree sufficient to offer myself protection from legal implications.

About 'On an Isle Called Rotoroa'

The Sound of Broken Voices is the title of a trilogy of memoirs which I am currently writing.

They are the voices of youth and innocence. They are the voices of love and violence. They are the voices of madness. They are the voices of ghosts. They are the voices of reason... and the voice of reasons. These are stories of my life.

Religion. Alcoholism. Sexual abuse. Drug Culture. Mental illness. This book writes about these issues in a non-judgemental way in order to give relativity to readers who identify with these issues, and also to give insight to those who have no experience of them.

The first book of my trilogy is titled On an Isle called Rotoroa.  I will be discussing this book in detail on this blog. This book begins when I am twenty two years old. It is set on Rotoroa Island, a Salvation Army-run Rehabiltiation Centre for alcoholics and drug addicts. My experience of rehab is told, while other earlier stories are woven through.
In this location, I make my own examinations and judgements – The Salvation Army and Rotoroa Island have their own stories to tell. 

While the title of the book suggests that the book is about a stint in rehab (and it is, partly) the rehab narrative is used as a vehicle to relay the stories of my childhood and adolescence.  There are embedded narratives in the main body of the work, prompted by triggers.

‘The truth will set you free’ is an oft-used slogan on Rotoroa Island.  But on my first day, the Program Manager takes me aside and insists that I don’t disclose my homosexuality to anyone while I am on the island.  In a place where we are expexted to confront our demons I find myself having to edit my life from the start.  This is the beginning of many lies that are told during this book, in order to protect the truth.

 But the truth has a way of rearing its ugly head, and all is revealed in this gripping memoir.

Historical and Cultural Context

Historical and Cultural Background

On an Isle Called Rotoroa looks at the practices and philosophies of the Salvation Army from an inside perspective, as well as their policies and attitudes on issues such as homosexuality, and their approach to the rehabilitation of alcoholics (which harks back to the origins of the Salvation Army in the Nineteenth Century, their establishment as a church via their Christian mission to take care of Whitechapel’s alcoholics and homeless in London).

As recently as the 1980’s homosexuality was diagnosed and treated as a mental illness. The book will give an insight into the underground homosexual scene of the eighties, the secret societies, and the cruise-scene.

This book gives a Pakeha (non-Maori) child’s perspective of New Zealand in the 70’s/80’s. At one of the old country schools I attended use of Te Reo (Maori language) was still being discouraged and at times punished by older school teachers. Maori culture was spoken of/treated in almost a ‘fabled’ fashion. All of this was set against the back drop of change eg The Springbok rugby tours of early 80’s that caused so much protest and division in New Zealand, and within individual families.

The alternate side of ‘civilised society’ is displayed - the diversity of sub-cultures that defy what is acceptable, with issues such as homosexuality, illicit drug taking, and mental illness.

This book writes about these issues in a non-judgemental way in order to give relativity to readers who identify with these issues, and also to give insight to those who have no experience of them.