Inspiring Voices (3)

Lorenzo Garcaterra –

Sleepers, A Safe Place

Sleepers is a story about four boys growing up in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen, where a juvenile prank goes horribly wrong, and they are sent to reform school. It is here that they are subject to cruel sexual and physical abuse by some of the Warders.

What attracted me to Sleepers in particular was how his fictionalisation of his characters through name changes absolves him of any legal responsibility. For all intents and purposes it appears that the book, although believably a true story, suddenly becomes a work of fiction and can be argued as such. As a result I have altered some of the names in my work also, not only to protect others, but in order to protect myself also.

A Safe Place is the prequel to Sleepers and tells the story of his childhood, growing up with a violent father who he discovers murdered his first wife.

Behind every powerful story is usually an equally powerful back-story. On An Isle Called Rotoroa  is my backstory.  Lorenzo Garcaterra is an accomplished writer, one I would very much like to emulate, in terms of the power of his story-telling.

Carcaterra, L. (1995) Sleepers New York, Ballantine Books

Inspiring voices (2)

A Child Called ‘It’, The Lost Boy, A Man Named Dave Autobiographical trilogy by Dave Pelzer

This trilogy tells the story of a boy who was, at the time, considered one of the top ten of the worst child abuse cases in U.S.A.., the second book detailing his rescue from his abusive mother into foster care, and the third detailing his transition into adulthood.

This is a chilling story. The first time I read it I was blown away by the incredible events of cruelty and abuse that took place in this boy’s life. But as I took a critical overview of the book and the writing itself, it helped me to focus deeper on my own writing, and what I want it to say.

I am not using Pelzer’s trilogy as a model for mine. My research into his writing left me with a feeling more of ‘how not to write mine’. Pelzer tends to overemphasise and can be at times melodramatic (in a story that undoubtedly is incredibly dramatic without the emphasis), can be overly sentimental in the telling of the story at times.

I have discovered over the years, the power of understatement, and the ‘showing’ of the story without having to always ‘tell’ so much, or without commentating too heavily about it. This is how I want to write my books.


Pelzer, D.  (2009)  My Story (trilogy)  London, Orion Publishers

Inspiring voices (1)

My trilogy was inspired by the responses I received to my portfolio in a non-fiction studio four years ago, and is an extension of that work, although far more in depth. In my collection of non-fiction stories I covered issues such as addiction, my sexuality, and the impact mental illness had on me, and my best friend.

I gave a copy to my then-psychiatrist, who was so impressed that he ordered fifteen copies, followed by more orders, for him to distribute to his patients as well as his entire team of mental health workers. Very quickly I began to receive requests from other corners. This was when I realised that my private sales were being spurred on by something more than the sympathetic charity of friends or family, because almost all had been to strangers.

I had a story. A story of trauma, addiction and mental collapse.  A story of all the indicators that he brought me there.  A story, of stories which I had struggled with in my head for many many years. But ultimately a story of recovery.  Confessional memoir writing is an enlightening experience - suddenly I was seeing answers to the many questions in my life, being answered by me on the page.

I began reading more, looking for inspiration from other writers. One writer in particular that made an impact to my approach is Mary Karr, author of The Liar’s Club – A Memoir by Mary Karr

The blurb on the back cover reads:

‘…Mary Karr grew up in a swampy East Texas refinery town at the epicentre of a family full of fierce, volatile attachments. To sort through dark household secrets she looks back through a child’s eyes - and shows us ‘a terrific family of liars and drunks…redeemed by a slow unearthing of truths’ in language reinvented with raw authenticity and brilliant energy…’

This book does not demand sympathy, and slides episodes of sexual abuse into the mix as though it is not the dominant story, just a piece of the puzzle.  It is an honest and inspiring read.




... The Liars’ Club, Karr’s 1995 memoir of her Gothic childhood in a swampy East Texas oil-refining town, won the PEN/Martha Albrand Award for First Nonfiction, sold half a million copies, and made its forty-year-old author, who was then an obscure poet, a literary celebrity. (The book takes its title from the motley collection of men with whom her father, an oilman, used to drink and tell tales.) Karr has been credited with, and often blamed for, the onslaught of confessional memoirs published during the late nineties. Though many of them matched The Liars’ Club for grotesque subject matter—the young Karr is raped, molested, and made to witness her mother’s monstrous nervous breakdown—few were as unsentimental, as lyrical, or as mordantly funny....
http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5992/the-art-of-memoir-no-1-mary-karr


Karr, M. (1995) The Liars Club New York, Penguin Group

The truth will set you free...

In this first book from the trilogy I investigate and relay different versions of the truth – what I had always believed to be true as a child, what actually was the truth, and of course what the management at rehab expected me to portray as true, with regards to concealing the true nature of my sexuality from the other patients. 

As time passes on the island and I listen to the stories of others, I find myself drawing closer and closer to the core of my own traumas.  ‘The Major’ becomes concerned and refers me to one of the other staff for more intensive counseling.   This triggers an intense depression and a visiting doctor prescribes me with anti-depressants. 

My new counselor has credibility that stems from personal experience of addiction and he shows a non-judgemental approach to my homosexuality.  But the more he encourages me to face my demons, the more frightened of exposing them I become.  I find myself propelled back to a horrific night when I was fourteen but I am so ashamed, I find it impossible to relay the experience to the counselor.   Instead, I concoct an alternate scenario of sexual abuse.  I do so with the hope that any advice he gives me, can be applied to the real scenario, but without me having to confront the true story of what had actually happened to me.

My experience of rehab is rapidly becoming a cacophony of untruths.  Given that it is expected of me by management to lie about my sexuality, the burden of lies is not one I must carry on my own – the management are also guilty of hiding the truth.

I learn more about the chequered history of Rotoroa Island, from a patient who is also called Ivan.  He has been ‘held’ on the island for over twenty years under ‘The Act’.  He tells me  more about Rotoroa’s past – fires, escapes, a sinking of the ferry which resulted in the loss of lives, and relationships between staff and patients. 

But my biggest discovery is that Craig McCafferty, the former Super-intendant of the island (who interviewed me for referral to detox in the first place) was guilty of dipping his hands into the patient’s funds.  Though it had cost him his position, and he was stripped of his uniform, this issue was dealt with internally and swept under the carpet.

I consider my own experience of growing up as a child of Salvation Army officers, and sift through the many lies and deception that took place behind the scenes in our household.  What we presented from the front door as a family was in stark contrast to how the family truly presented behind the safety of closed doors.


Truth is like the town whore.  Everybody knows her, but nonetheless, it's embarrassing to meet her on the street.
Wolfgang Borchert - The Outsider

Creative Writing Practices – What kind of work is this book?

On an Isle Called Rotoroa, and indeed the complete trilogy of books that make up The Sound of Broken Voices is first and foremost a memoir.

Definition of memoir

noun     - a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources: in 1924 she published a short memoir of her husband

  - (memoirs) an autobiography or a written account of one’s memory of certain events or people...

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/american_english/memoir

 

This work falls under the postmodern banner, as a piece of Gay Literature, although this is due mainly to the fact that the narrator of the story is gay, not because it is a gay story. 

Gay literature has become a powerful voice in very recent years and is making a mark as a distinctive form of cultural expression in the world.  Historically, writers of gay literature have traditionally been shunned, and  rebuked.  They have been arrested, charged and convicted in obscenity trials around the world.  They have been labelled and protested about, as deviants and perverts.  They have been  forced to write in coded fashions.   Gay literature for many years, in many corners of the world, has been censored, banned, burned or destroyed, and punishable by prison, or incarceration in mental hospitals.

     It is theoretically correct to look at gay literature under the wider umbrella of post-colonialism, in the context that homosexuals (and homosexual writers) have for centuries have been disenfranchised members of society, disadvantaged and discriminated against.  In my writing I show the differences in pre-law reform New Zealand and post-law reform.

 My work also falls under that category (Postcolonialism) as it offers a Pakeha (non-Maori) child’s perspective of growing up in Postcolonial New Zealand, in stories that illustrate a context and environment which is at times almost as colonial in its attitudes, as it is post-colonial.   To me perspective is a key feature of memoir writing, and this must always be taken into account by the reader.

The role The Salvation Army play in this work, is also reminiscent of the days of early missionaries in early post-European Aotearoa-New Zealand.

Funding hurdles

A disappointing blow to my project today.  The Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand has opened this year for applications for $16000.00 worth of media grants.  Unfortunately, unlike previous years, this year the grants are not available to creative writers like myself, but are set aside for journalist projects exclusively.

      Writing a book is bloody hard work.  I have spent the last four years of my life studying for my degree in creative writing (two years full-time, two years part-time), so I could learn the craft and deliver my story in the most effective way.  In that time I’ve funded myself by getting up at 3.30am five days a week to sort mail, and have taken on second jobs, which means I am taxed at the highest  rate and pay full repayment rates on my student loan, irrespective of the fact that my two jobs put together do not even come close to meeting the average income in this country.  But there is much more to writing a book than the physical funding of it. 

     There are endless hours of research, of gathering information, or interviewing others in order to make sure that you are accurate with dates, settings, etc.   There are sleepless nights, where it seems you can’t turn the words or ideas off, no matter how late it gets or how badly you need to sleep.  There are times when the subject matter and memories can reduce you to tears, and other times that leave you laughing or feeling warm with nostalgia.  There are the days we yearn to return to, and other days we had vowed never to revisit.  There are the difficult questions and the sometimes even more difficult answers. 

     But there are the rewards.  There are those moments when we see evidence of growth or learning staring back at us in words we have written.  There are the times when our words connect with a stranger and moves them, and has an impact in their own life.  There is the reward of knowing that the story has a happy ending and important messages to tell, to those that may still be stuck in the mires of depression, addiction, or abusive situations. 

    While there was never a guarantee that I would be awarded a grant, I had been preparing for this opportunity for several months, and more intensively in recent weeks, securing letters of recommendation etc and had identified areas where I could make use of the money if I had it.  First and foremost would have been the purchase of a laptop.  I have a (now very outdated) computer, on its last legs, which has never been connected to the internet.  Sometimes I wonder how I have managed to get this far through my degree, relying only on library computers.  Secondly I had hoped to make a series of research trips in coming months to interview people and visit locations that are more pertinent in the later books, but will have to come up with new ideas to generate the income to do this.

     To all the people who have helped and supported me with the writing of this trilogy so far, I give my commitment to seeing this project through regardless of any impediments that may come along.  I thank everyone for believing in me and this project, and rest assured – to the first one hundred people who have liked my page ‘The Sound of Broken Voices’ – you will not be the last one hundred people to like it.  I have an important story to tell, and I am going to tell it. 

Settings in the book

Rotoroa Island, New Zealand, is the dominant setting in this book, but there are several other settings that give background and context to the story.  Some of these include:

Hamilton, New Zealand

-          Te Kowhai – a small community west of Hamilton where I live from the ages of 9 – 17.

-          I am living at my brother John’s house in Hamilton City prior to my entry to rehab.

-          The Nest,  a Salvation Army run orphanage where my sister Mary works during the early 80’s, and where I spend an unforgettable weekend at age 11.

Newcastle, NSW, Australia

-          It is here I develop an IV habit to Speed.

-          It is here where I finally accept my sexuality (I leave NZ at 18 to hide from my family)

-          It is here where I meet my first boyfriend

-          I am living here when Newcastle experiences Australia’s only recorded earthquake that has casualties, 27/12/89

 

 

Other locations from my childhood (all in New Zealand) include:

-          Woodville 1971 -1974

-          Oxford 1975

-          Wellington 1976

-          Kerikeri 1976

-          Waipukurau 1976 – 77

-          Waipawa 1977 – 79

These are towns in which my family live during the first ten years of my life and will appear in flashbacks.  They are evidence of an unsettled childhood and reveal the reasons for the continual change of locations (escaping from my mother’s numerous extra-marital affairs as well as a shameful withdrawal from the Salvation Army).